What They Say — What They Mean
Yes — No
No — Yes
Maybe — No
I’m sorry. — You’ll be sorry.
We need — I want
It’s your decision — The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want — You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk — I need to complain
Sure… go ahead — I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset — Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re … so manly — You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
This kitchen is so inconvenient — I want a new house.
I want new curtains — and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
Hang the picture there — No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise — I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? — I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? — I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute. — Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? — Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. — Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? — Too late, you’re dead.
Was that the baby? — Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! — Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
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